The Purposes of Parenting

There are many purposes of Parenting. According to Michael H. Popkin, the purposes of parenting are to: Protect children and to prepare them to strive and thrive in the world in which they will live. I would however add one more, and that would be to prepare them for eternal life. Every parent’s reason can be different. Some want to manipulate and control, others want children to simply discover for themselves. Here are my reasons for parenting. I want to rear my children in love and righteousness and I want to teach them to be strong in the Gospel of Christ.  In the scriptures we read, ^“ Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it”(Proverbs 22; 6). If we teach our children by example and through consistent family scriptures and prayer we can ensure that our children will understand the Gospel of Christ. I also want my children to be humble, hardworking, family oriented, and faithful. In order to accomplish this my future husband and I must have a marriage that supports our parenting.  Our marriage must be Gospel centered and we must have equal partnership.  We must each give 100% of ourselves and expect gives and takes.  Our marriage needs to be full love and righteousness and we must cleave unto one another. Good communication and a willingness to sacrifice for the good of our family are essential. We must be patient and forgiving with one another and our children.  We must have a positive attitude and the endurance to keep going.  

Working Together

In past years husbands and wives worked side-by-side with their children and as such there was little separation of work and play. The two were very much intertwined. But over time work, home and "work out" have all separated, instead of all happening at the same time. I find this division very fascinating because of its effects on the family.Husbands and wives used to work together all day. Their home was their lively hood and source of income. Now fathers and sometimes even mothers go off to work and young children are left in the care of others. I believe that because of this change in "work", families are communicating and working together less. I feel that sometimes both parents can get so caught up in their own "jobs", that parents are starting to forget their jobs as parents and teachers to their children.

Meet Together Often

In the scriptures we are counseled to "meet together often". The fifteen men we have sustained as prophets, seers and revelators, meet every Thursday to discuss the welfare of the Church and of each other. They meet in the temple and take time to express love and appreciation for one another. Missionaries have "companionship inventory" at least once a week. I believe that these principles are important in a marriage and in a family. Husbands and wives should have a day where they have set aside time to discuss their relationship and their children. When decisions need to be made that effect the whole family, parents should meet together with their children and discuss the changes that need to happen and how they should go about making those changes. They too, should take time to express love and appreciation for one another. I also feel that these meetings should begin with a prayer, to invite the Spirit to be present. I feel that if husbands and wives did this, we may see a decrease in infidelity, and divorce.

Purposes of Sexuality

In class we talked about the purposes of sexuality. We listed things off like: intimacy, procreation, gender roles, bonding, and comfort. But alas, something that is supposed to be wonderful and sacred is so often depicted as something easy and of little worth. To some it is simply a means to an end and for others it is just their duty. Can you imagine the effects these thoughts would have on something that is supposed to bring a husband and wife closer together, emotionally and spiritually? I believe that the effects would be devastating and hard to overcome.

Love and Dating

In class today we talked about love, 3 "filters" that effect love and the 4 types of love. We also talke about the three Ps of a date.The three filters are Propinquity, Physical attraction and Similarities. When talking about similarities, Brother Williams gave an example of a motorcycle dude with a big beard. As he said this I shuddered. Brother Williams saw this and asked me why. I explained that my dad does not have a beard and that it was not something I found attractive. He explained that we tend to be attracted to someone who seems familiar. Next we talked about the 4 forms of love. Here they are.
Eros- Romantic, Sexual
Storge- Parent to Child, Child to Parent
Agape- "No matter what"
Philia- Friends, Brotherly Love, can lead to Eros


Last but not least we listed the three P's of a Date

It is a date if it is ...

• Planned 
• Paid For 
• Paired Off

If it doesn't have all three it is just " Hanging out."

We also made connections between a husband's responsibilities in the home and how the three P's allow them to practice those three major responsibilities.

Planned = Preside
Paid For (resources) = Provide
Paired Off (responsible commitment) = Protect

Gender Roles

On January the 31st we talked about the different gender roles and there importance in a family.  I was particularly interested by the different characteristics we noticed between males and females,  especially how the differences sort of balance one another. Here are some of those differences.

Masculine

• Task oriented
• Protective
• Spaticially oriented
• Physical Strength
• Fixer, solve

Feminine

• Relationship oriented
• Attention to detail
• Sensitive

Boundaries

Last Tuesday we talked about the different types of boundaries in a family. There are three types of boundaries and they are, rigid, clear and diffused. I began to think about these types of boundaries in my own family. I believe that my parents have a clear boundary set between them and my siblings and I. They always get one another's opinions when asked a questions by one of their children. They also support each other in a decision. I know that if I went to my mother and asked her something and she said no, I would get the same answer if went to my dad. They sometimes have misunderstandings but they always work together to work it out. I have never felt like there is a divide between them.